I'm Taylor
22/100

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This is what happens when I have no internet connection.

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My uncle overdosed on heroin and died…

He was found in his apartment today and had been dead for a few days already…

Life is shitty.

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some of my family members are so fucking disrespectful to me about my decisions… like, how about you be fucking supportive.

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Saturday with 6 notes / reblog
HEY LOOK WHAT I GOT TODAY.
I’m going to start waist training :3
SO EXCITED!
Monday with 13 notes / reblog
Hey, look. My butt.

S3/E14 of New Girl is GOLD. 

I love laughing by myself when I’m sad. Win.

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emotionally choking.
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In the same sense though, I’m kind of a terribly fucked up individual - emotionally and mentally. There was a point where I was never infatuated with anyone. It just stopped happening… I would go into relationships with people, whether they be short flings or full on “commitments,” and I would just see what would happen, usually just because I was lonely or something. There was no initial spark with the people - unless it was purely physical and then maybe something would stem, but it never did. Then I started seeing what I could get out of the relationship after I was bored. Very selfish of me, I will admit. Whether it be for the sex or other advantages… but nothing emotional ever. Just my need to fill a lonely void. Actually, it sometimes evolved into a possessive thing, if I cared at all in the end. 

I try not to be that way. I really do TRY to not be so terrible, but it always ends up that I’m just a shitty person. I want to believe that there is a chance of love for me… I really do… but it just never really feels right. That’s why I feel like I will always be alone… there will never be someone who just intrigues me so much that I fall in love with them with every fiber of my being. I wouldn’t deserve it even if it did happen. 

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