I'm Taylor


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I haven’t felt genuine, reciprocated affection in a really long time…

I feel like a part of me is dying. Humans need affection and companionship… I can’t even get it on occasion… I get used; and it’s sad because I play into it… because of my need for affection. I try so hard to give it and I don’t get it back…

People can’t just pick and choose when they want me in their lives. It doesn’t work that way…

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I’m getting really depressed… I think everything is finally hitting me.

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  • my friend: what are you doing on Sunday? I'm going to a lesbian pool party and I wanted you to go because whenever I go to a place with a bunch of lesbians I feel like a piece of meat and everyone stares at me.
  • me: oh. so you want me to go so you can use me and throw me to the lions.
  • my friend: yes. the lesbian lions.
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    I mean to reply to all of your responses to my text posts… I really do. 

    But right now, I am a little intoxicated and I can’t do 500 things at once. I can merely write this post, and go through and edit my red lines. I want to sound like I’m at least grammatically correct when I drunkenly write. 

    The moral of tonight’s story is that I was really nervous to talk to this guy that works at one of the bars I go to a lot… and when I say nervous, I mean UNBELIEVABLY nervous - I have NO social skills with flirting… at all - and anyway, my friends are fantastic wing women and they basically forced me to talk to him and in the end he said I was cute, although he couldn’t talk to me because he was working - which I understand…

    So, even if he’s not interested, he at least said I was cute and that makes me less nervous. :) 


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    So, turns out my dad does have cancer…


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    When I found out that my ex-boyfriend had HPV the whole time I was dating him, yet he never told me, I seriously wanted to ruin his life… but I’ll let him do that himself because anyone who is that fucking evil will get what they deserve in the end. Unfortunately, I do feel obligated to tell his current girlfriend about it because I doubt he has told her either, mostly because that can lead to genital warts and cancer… Like, who is that much of a bastard to not tell the person they’re dating something like that…
Thank god my mother made me get those shots when I was younger. I can’t even imagine what I would do if I hadn’t shown up clean for my tests. I would cut his fucking penis off and feed it to dogs.

    I’m the type of person that gets extremely hurt when I get ignored by people - not so much on the internet - but really only with the people I know in person. If I go out of my way to try to talk to you, I would appreciate a text back or some form of acknowledgment that you give a shit. Ignoring me is the worst thing you can do. I would honestly prefer a “Fuck off” instead.

    This is why I cut people out. I’d rather be alone than attach myself to friends or anyone else with potential for more, and inevitably get let down in one way or another.

    In a sense, I’m pretty hypocritical when it comes to my peeves though because I can hardly answer my messages on here most of the time. But again, that’s not entirely related because I’m mainly talking about the people I know in person.

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    Staying in tonight to eat peanut butter and watch Malcolm in the Middle
    <---DONT REMOVE---->