You’ll always fuck up, no matter how close I get to you.
You will always do something wrong, and I will start to hate you for it, little by little.
So… I’d just rather not.
I got out of work at 11 p.m. and I think, “Let me go to Amscot and pay this bill while I’m out,” because NORMALLY Amscots are open 24 hours a day… So, I get to the Amscot and try to open the door and it’s locked. They closed at 9 apparently. I get back into my car, try to start it, and my car battery died… My cellphone was also dead because I had been working all day.
I almost have a fucking panic attack because not only am I just having the worst luck, I was also in a not-so-great area of town with $350 on me in cash.
So, I’m freaking out, deciding on if I should just walk home or not… so I go to write a letter to put on my dash saying not to tow my car - I have no writing utensils at all… so I had to use fucking lipstick. -_-
I walk to a gas station, ask if they sell iPhone wall chargers and cords, and the guy says yes - but he doesn’t have the one for my phone. I thank him and leave and walk all the way back toward another gas station. I try to open the door but it was locked, and the guy says, “We’re closed” and I walked away, but then he peeped out the door and I said, “Do you guys sell iPhone chargers? :( ” and so he let me in to buy one really quickly. I explained the situation and that I was just going to walk to McDonalds and charge my phone, so he asks if I need a ride there and I figured SURE WHY THE HELL NOT AT THIS POINT.
He was really nice and not creepy so it worked out perfectly. THEN, I get to McDonalds and try to charge my phone but it was taking forever to turn on and a lady told me that the lobby was closed… I had to beg her to let me stay and she said, “You have ten minutes -________-“
So then I had to call a friend to get a jump and yada yada yada. Super shitty and weird night.
Fucking sweet way to spend my Saturday night.
One time I dated this guy who didn’t speak English very well… not terribly, but not very well if I’m honest… but yeah, it just wasn’t his first language. Anyway, the relationship was shit and we argued a lot over really stupid things, and I think a lot of it was him getting confused at my context or points I was trying to make, so he would counteract them for no reason and frustrate the both of us.
My point is that I wonder if I spoke Spanish fluently or if he spoke English more fluently, if things would have been different.
Don’t get me wrong though - he was a giant cunt of a person and I would never see anything with him regardless - but I still wonder if things would have been different even in the slightest bit.
You miss someone and you’re hoping that I’ll fill that void for you, but realistically I won’t, nor do I want to take the place of someone else.